A year ago, I was sitting in our jam-packed (and I mean JAM-PACKED) van, with sleep still in my eyes, and brain fog on the road to our new home.
I still remember it like it was yesterday. McKenna, her mom, Darby, and her mom got up at like 4 in the morning to drive an hour to our house to camp on our driveway so they could send us on our journey. It was all the Lord’s doing, let me tell you. My parents were so exhausted from packing the van the night before, we decided not to leave at 5, but at 7 in the morning. So we all got to say our goodbyes and give our final hugs. I remember us all praying on the driveway right as the sun began to rise. I remember getting into the van, and feeling so grateful for such sweet friends who would make the trip out to say one last goodbye. But I also remember feeling so exhausted, afraid, sad, and a little angry.
It’s been a year, but I still remember feeling every. single. bump. in the road. That’s the worst thing about road-trips, you know. You try to go back to sleep, but right as you’re about to drift off, there’s a pothole, or trash in the road, or roadkill. And you keep trying to fall asleep until you’re so exhausted, you just pass out. Then five minutes later, your dad pulls into a gas station and that’s the only stop for the next three hours, so you need to get up.
A year ago, I was staring at the darkness outside our windows with tears rolling down my cheeks as I already felt the homesickness settle in my chest. Saying goodbye was never easy for me. The thought of this big change terrified me. I remember asking God so many whys. “Why would You have me leave my home? What’s out there? Why do I have to leave my friends? Why would You place me in a new area to get settled? Why are You making me go through all of this change? Is this really necessary? Why are You doing this to me?”
I knew I would get used to my new home. Hey, I might even like it one day. I knew my friends and my family-by-choice would adjust to my absence and I knew I would too. But I didn’t want that. If you were to ask me a year ago, “if you had the choice to stay, would you?” I would have said, “yes” in a heartbeat. I didn’t want to leave at all. But God definitely had other plans.
A year ago, at around 3 in the morning, we pulled up in our rental house’s driveway. I remember dragging myself out of the van and shivering in the freezing wind. I looked up at the sky and saw the biggest, brightest, most beautiful stars I had ever seen. I remember thinking that my friends are looking at those same stars and at the same moon. And I remember telling myself that this might not be a bad place after all.
So that started my adventure here and God did so much within just that one year. I will be sharing some of that in the months to come, so stay tuned. 🙂