God has been convicting me about a lot of things. Two of which, I wanted to share.
The other day, Aunt Laura shared a link about mandalas and their history. Mom read it and shared it with me because mandalas, zendalas, and zentangles are something that I really enjoy drawing. (You can read the article here.)
I knew sort of what mandalas were, and didn’t draw them after I found out it was a spiritual symbol of Buddhism and Hinduism. A friend explained to me that zentangles were traditionally done on a square and zendalas were pretty much zentangles done on a circle. So, I continued to do those. But after reading that article and thinking back on all of my designs, both circular and square, I felt convicted. I couldn’t tell the difference between my zendalas and the mandalas that other people drew other than theirs looked so much prettier than mine.
I recalled feeling very tired and drained after focusing on drawing for several hours at a time.
After talking with Mom and discussing zentangles and zendalas, I felt convicted over how I let drawing a beautiful piece of artwork consume me and lead me to shirk from my responsibilities. I realized that I was letting myself zone out and escape reality for long periods of time because it felt relaxing and meditative. I felt very convicted that I was drawing beautiful symbols that l didn’t know we’re part of a pagan religion. So, now that I know, I decided that I’m going to stop drawing zentangles and zendalas and if I ever end up buying an adult coloring book, I am going to make sure that there are no mandalas in any of the pages.
A few days later, I received this new skirt along with several other boho/medieval skirts to share with my sisters.
Pretty cute, right? So I decided to wear it to church on Sunday morning because it was long and warm enough to wear in 40-50 degree weather and it also matched one of my tops and scarves. I thought it looked really beautiful.
So, I’m sitting in church and at one point, I’m staring at my skirt and this is what I see.
There are swastikas on my skirt.
I am wearing a skirt that is covered in a symbol that both the Nazis and Hindus use while I’m worshipping the Almighty God! I was panicking a little bit.
No one noticed the swastikas… and if they did, they didn’t say anything. I don’t think anyone noticed. Mom didn’t even notice and she notices a lot of things that I usually miss! In fact, she and a couple people complemented my skirt and how pretty I looked. *cringe* I had to bite my tongue after I politely thanked them.
When I got home, I quickly changed clothes and spent a good amount of time praying and thanking God that He looks at the heart of man and not at his clothing. I also thanked Him that He made me aware of the swastikas right away, even if it was in the middle of the sermon. I would most definitely have wanted that instead of having my parents or *gasp* the pastor’s wife ask me if I knew that there were swastikas on my skirt and if so, why.
I’m going to take the skirt apart and replace the the swastika fabric with a more appropriate one.
I’m also going to pay a little closer attention to what I’m doing and wearing. How about you?